When Life Doesn’t Wait for You to Finish Healing

I thought I was approaching the end of a difficult chapter this week.

My knee surgery was behind me.

My healing continued to improve.

Our new house was moving forward.

Everything seemed to be falling into place.

I was planning the next steps for my future.

Preparing for my return to work.

But life changed again.

Someone I love is critically ill.

Another person I love continues to struggle.

A family member received frightening medical news.

But the calendar keeps moving.

The return to work doesn't pause.

The house paperwork doesn't stop.

My current responsibilities do not end.

Leo still needs his mom.

Zach still needs his wife.

And I still need to keep moving forward.

Life doesn't seem to care when you have reached your capacity.

When one more thing feels like it might break you.

As a therapist, I sometimes feel like I should know what to say or how to handle it all.

But sometimes, there is nothing that can be "handled."

There is only waiting.

Hoping.

Praying.

This post does not have a lesson.

I don't currently have a hopeful ending to offer.

Today, I am simply trying to make it through a life that keeps moving while I am still catching up.

Trying to breathe when it feels like the air is being sucked out of the room.

My hope is that someday I will look back and understand what this difficult time taught me.

 But right now, I am living it.

I am surviving it.

This is what it feels like when life doesn't wait for you to finish healing.

Mae and Onyx